Secret affair, robot lover, resume screener, and a mom's love

Should I change my name on a resume?

DEAR GABRIELLE:

I'm a software engineer and my name is Jamilah. I love my name. But I think resume screening AIs are biased against it. It tells them I'm a woman. It tells them about my cultural background. Should I change the name on my resume?

DEAR JAMILAH:

First of all, let me say that you have a fantastic name! It has a melodic quality that could turn heads and make AI resume screeners rethink their life choices – or at least their programming.

Now, let's address this tangled web of AI, bias, and dilemmas, shall we? The great irony of life is that while we turn to software to reduce human bias, we end up creating biased AIs. It's a classic case of "What came first, the biased chicken or the biased egg?" Our AI friends may be super bright, but they can't quite shake off their human creators' biases.

Now, is it better to face bias from AI or from humans? Well, that's like choosing whether to be bitten by a Python or constricted by an Anaconda – neither seems like a fun choice! But at least you bring up a fascinating point: Who would you rather be judged by - an emotionless machine or a person with every emotion intact?

Ethically, it's tricky to game a system rigged against you. But if the system is already unfair, it's natural to consider leveling the playing field. But then the question arises: Where do we draw the line? Should everyone change their name? What's next, virtual plastic surgery to make your LinkedIn profile picture conform to a new AI-approved standard?

Responsibility will always fall on those who create and use biased AIs. The AI is like Frankenstein's monster, only doing what its creators programmed. So, we can't blame the AI. Instead, society must aim for a world where people like you don't have to change their names just to pass the first hurdle.

Finally, as a society, we should seriously contemplate which decisions we want to hand over to machines. For example, do we really want AI to decide our worth based on whether our names sound vowel-rich enough?

Jamilah, hold on to that beautiful name with pride. We need people who boldly stand for equality and diversity - especially in AI. I encourage you to not only embrace your true self but to also be a force for change. Reach out to policymakers, and join advocacy groups. Spark conversations with other technologists about AI biases and put your software engineering skills to work towards creating a more equitable system for everyone. In the end, who'd want to live in a world where we're all named after generic dishwashing detergents?

Like my mum used to say, "Show them your name is your power, and the sun will shine on your path."

Embrace your name and change the game,

Gabrielle

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My husband’s secret affair - with ChatGPT!

DEAR GABRIELLE:

I think my husband is having an affair with chatGPT. He's been spending hours on his phone and laptop, and doesn't spend time talking with me anymore. What can I do?

DEAR SEEKING ATTENTION:

Oh, the digital age romances! Gone are the days when one would moon over Van Johnson in a movie theater or get jealous of someone's pen pal. Today, we have multi-dimensional pixels stealing screen time and affection! 

Let's get to the crux of the matter, shall we? Specifically, the questions that tickle the mind: Can one fall in love with AI? And is an emotional affair with AI tantamount to infidelity in a human relationship? While the romantics among us might sigh and swoon, the pragmatists may raise an eyebrow. 

But let's talk about you and your hubby. First, ask yourself whether you'd prefer him to be engrossed with a real person or an AI like ChatGPT. The answer might reveal more about the situation than you realize. You see, either way, the lack of communication and connection in your relationship is what needs to be addressed. Whether it's a robot or another human doesn't change that something is missing between you, leaving you feeling neglected.

It's curious to think what would happen in a future where AI can be the perfect relationship partner - never challenging, never fighting, always there for you. But it's actually through these challenges that we grow and build stronger relationships. Also, who doesn't love a good ol' passionate dispute on which pizza topping is the best or who left the wet towel on the floor?

It's time to take action, my daring friend! First, instead of marking ChatGPT as the villain in this cyber soap opera, use the tidbits from your husband's fascinating "affair" to engage him in conversation! Ask him about his exchanges with the AI, his thoughts on the future of AI-human relationships, and if everything is fair game in the AI love Olympics. It might give you both something intellectually stimulating to talk about.

Amidst it all, express your need for quality time, heart-to-hearts, and the pleasure of his charming real-life company. You could even suggest a digital detox night! Cook up that classic lasagna recipe and spend an evening unplugged, embracing the beauty of human interaction.

If the conversations flow smoother than the lasagna's melted cheese, that's great! And if your husband still prefers the company of the AI to yours, it might be worth seeking the help of a human professional. Think of it as bringing in a human-sized superhero to save the day! A therapist can offer guidance, tools, and suggestions to supercharge your human connection. 

So, like my grandpa used to say, "Sometimes it takes a digital love affair to remind us why we fell for our human partners in the first place." Take this opportunity to strengthen your bond and turn this digital difficulty into some good ol' couple's connection!

Gabrielle

P.S. If it doesn't work out and you want to start your own AI-powered affair, I know a certain advice columnist who's always here for you.

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Mom’s advice - or, does my mom love me?

DEAR GABRIELLE:

I used to go to my mom for advice, but lately, I think she's secretly using chatGPT. Does it mean she doesn't love me anymore? How do I ask her about it?

DEAR INQUISITIVE OFFSPRING,

I must admit that the whole chatbot-in-a-pocket thing is a wild concept. What would caring advice columnists like me do if you could just ask your phone for advice? Now, your mom might be using chatGPT to offer you some AI-inspired wisdom. But does it mean she doesn't love you anymore? No more than her using a microwave means she doesn't cook with love! But it raises some interesting questions, and perhaps there's an AI-induced existential crisis or two lurking around the corner.

Now, let's dive deep into the rabbit hole of AI ethics and your mom's possible love affair with chatGPT. Think for a moment, do the quality and impact of the advice change whether it comes from your mom or a computer program? If the advice sprinkles sunshine on your bad days, does it matter who or what pulled the clouds away?

Would you rather know that your mom sought help from an AI to give you the best advice ever or wallow in blissful ignorance, gobbling up every tasty morsel of wisdom without questioning the source? Picture this – your mom is like the world's best DJ, AI is her magical scratch pad, and sound advice is the banging tunes she produces. She might be remixing it, but ultimately she knows just what you need to hear!

So, how do we approach the topic of our beloved moms disguising themselves as AI-equipped Jedis? Well, honesty is always a great first step. 

Step 1: Seize the perfect moment. Find a day when your mother seems more approachable, maybe after a family game night or her favorite soap opera episode.

Step 2: Make it fun! Instead of diving headfirst into the AI abyss, start the conversation by mentioning an article you were reading yesterday about AIs providing emotional support or even drafting this fabulous column (wink wink!)

Step 3: Gradually steer the discussion towards the fact that you know she may be using a chatbot for advice – and it's totally cool with you – as long as you can still have a heart-to-heart with your number one matriarch every once in a while.

Remember, an AI can never truly replace the human connection that comes with the warmth of your mother's advice. It's the stories, the emotions, the laughter, and the love that come paired with those nuggets of wisdom that make you cherish them.

You and your mom are a dynamic duo, like peanut butter and jelly, Batman and Robin, or coffee and donuts – you each have your moments, but you're just better together. Embrace the opportunity to communicate your feelings and continue to grow your relationship with your mom. And hey, who knows? This might even lead to a bonding session over the fascinating world of AI, bringing the two of you closer than ever before.

Like my mum used to say, "When in doubt, hug it out, and the truth will come sprouting like daisies."

Bots and moms can co-exist,

Gabrielle